Difficulties in relationships are caused not so much by INCOMPATIBILITY as by INFLEXIBILITY. Sometimes when two people cannot get along with each other, a common explanation for that is, “We are just incompatible.” The fact however is that no two people are perfectly compatible, and every relationship has its difficulties. The degree may be different, but difficulties are present in every relationship. And if we want to have healthy relationships, then rather than using the excuse of incompatibility to not work through our differences, we can look at a deeper cause: inflexibility. When we fail to or refuse to understand the other person and why some things matter to them, that inflexibility is what puts our relationships into a grave.

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13.10 … Detachment; freedom from entanglement with children, wife, home and the rest, even-mindedness amid pleasant and unpleasant events; … [ – all these I declare to be knowledge].