Complaining to God can be part of a real relationship with Him, but complaining about God cannot.

When we strive to develop a serious relationship with God and maintain such devotion amid life’s ups and downs, we naturally expect Him to help us—especially during severe problems or moments of urgent need. When help doesn’t seem forthcoming, we might try to console ourselves with philosophical reasoning. We may think that His plan is ultimately better than ours, that our tribulation is meant for our purification, or that it is a form of accountability for past misdeeds.

Despite these attempts to reason, we might still feel abandoned or even betrayed by God. Such emotions—disappointment, anger, or doubt—can feel unholy and unworthy of a heart striving for devotion. Out of confusion or guilt, we may suppress these feelings and attempt to carry on with our devotional practices. However, this suppression can lead to a shallow relationship with God, as we unconsciously hold a part of our heart back.

Thankfully, God is understanding, and His love for us is big enough to accommodate even our negative emotions. In the Mahabharata, Draupadi exemplifies this when she meets Krishna after her humiliation in the Kaurava assembly. She expresses her feelings of abandonment to Him. Rather than reproaching her, Krishna consoles and reassures her. He promises that those who wronged her will face consequences and praises her faithfulness to dharma.

Such examples remind us that God does not hold our anger or complaints against us. Just as in any deep human relationship, strong emotions are inevitable when real challenges arise. Responsible and loving parents don’t punish a child for complaining; they understand and help the child grow. Similarly, God understands our struggles and allows space for our honest emotions.

The Bhagavad Gita (9.13) describes those devoted to God as being steadfast in their minds and hearts. Yet even such unwavering devotees face challenges that require immense effort. These efforts may include navigating not just external obstacles but also inner emotions of confusion and disappointment when their service to God doesn’t go as envisioned.

Occasionally expressing complaints to God through heartfelt prayers or sharing concerns with mature devotees can be a part of a sincere relationship. Mature devotees, who are both exalted in faith and grounded in reality, can understand and empathize without their faith being shaken. The Gita (10.9) even recommends such heartfelt discussions, suggesting that even the enlightened can benefit from mutual enlightenment.

However, indiscriminate or excessive complaining—especially to those whose faith might waver—is best avoided. Complaining about God to others can harm not only their faith but also our relationship with Him. A mature relationship with God involves a balance: acknowledging and expressing negative emotions constructively while avoiding actions that may harm others’ devotion or our own.

Summary:

  • When striving to serve God, we may experience emotions like abandonment or anger if He seems unresponsive in moments of need. Expressing such feelings directly to God or to mature, understanding devotees can be part of a genuine relationship.
  • God is compassionate and accommodating, allowing space for our honest emotions without letting them hinder our connection with Him.
  • However, complaining about God, especially to those whose faith might waver, can be harmful. Responsible devotion involves expressing emotions constructively and avoiding excessive or harmful complaining.

Think it over:

  • Reflect on a time when you felt abandonment, disappointment, or anger in your relationship with God.
  • What scriptural verses or examples can assure you that such emotions are within the purview of a real relationship with God?
  • If such emotions arise in the future, plan two ways to express them constructively and identify ways to avoid venting them that might harm your devotional harmony.

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09.14 Always chanting My glories, endeavoring with great determination, bowing down before Me, these great souls perpetually worship Me with devotion.