When we can’t give up an unhealthy habit …

If an unhealthy habit keeps recurring despite our best efforts, how can we progress in self-transformation? By changing our attitude toward that habit: we can stop living for it, even if we still have to live with it.

To live for an unhealthy habit means to let it occupy centerstage in our mental world. An alcoholic may spend their entire day dreaming and scheming when they can get their next drink. If their family or friends disapprove of their alcoholism, their dreaming and scheming may include concealing their indulgence. If their own conscience disapproves of their alcoholism, they may try to rationalize their indulgence by denying its gravity or by beating their conscience into silence. If their conscience is too strong to be silenced, they may beat themselves up for being so wimpish as to keep relapsing. Overall, their thoughts and emotions — which comprise their mental energy, the essence of their life — orbit around their alcoholism. The Bhagavad-gita (18.35) cautions against such obsession. 

To live with an unhealthy habit means to tolerate it like a nuisance while we seek to outgrow it. The Bhagavad-gita (05.23) recommends such tolerance of unavoidable urges. We focus our energies, especially our mental energies, on how we can expand our life beyond that habit. We strive to build healthier habits that open doors for us to more stimulating activities, more encouraging friends, and more uplifting objects for thought. Even if we relapse, we don’t obsess over that event. We introspect briefly to learn what we can for preventing or minimizing future relapses; and we move on with our endeavors to create a bigger life wherein that unhealthy habit’s mental space becomes increasingly insignificant. 

One-sentence summary: 

Even if we have to live with an unhealthy habit, we don’t have to live for it — living for it means to let it consume our mental energies; living with it means to endure its presence while dedicating our mental energies to creating a bigger life beyond it. 

Think it over: 

• What does living for an unhealthy habit mean?
• What does living with an unhealthy habit mean?
• Do you have an unhealthy habit that you have to live with? How can you expand your life beyond it?

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05.23: Before giving up this present body, if one is able to tolerate the urges of the material senses and check the force of desire and anger, he is well situated and is happy in this world.

To know more about this verse, please click on the image