Say no to the mind to know the mind

There is no getting to know the mind without getting to say no to the mind

We all wish to understand our minds better so that we can anticipate and regulate our impulses and default reactions. However, we often closely identify with our minds, mistaking its desires, impulses, and feelings as our own. This identification makes it difficult to objectively observe the mind’s workings.

The situation is similar to relationships where we are too close to someone to objectively witness or evaluate their questionable actions. To truly know our mind, we must distance ourselves from it—and this distance begins with saying no to the mind.

The power of saying no

As long as we uncritically say yes to our mind’s impulses, we remain blinded to its nature and power. It is only when we begin to say no—through simple disciplines like moderating food intake, sleep hours, or time spent on social media, or through substantial commitments like long-term projects or relationships—that we start observing the mind in action.

The Bhagavad Gita (6.5) encourages us to take this proactive approach, urging us to elevate ourselves with our mind rather than degrade ourselves by succumbing to it. By asserting boundaries, we can start transforming our relationship with the mind.

Establishing a healthy relationship with the mind

Saying no to the mind allows us to notice its resistance, especially in areas where it fights most forcefully. However, a healthy relationship with the mind does not mean shifting from being dominated by the mind to dominating it. The mind has valid instincts and interests that, if suppressed entirely, could lead to suffocation and rebellion.

Instead, we need a balanced approach. By firmly saying no to impulses that conflict with our principles and goals, and by facilitating constructive instincts and interests, we can cultivate a mutually beneficial relationship with the mind.

This relationship requires negotiation and cooperation. Over time, we can teach our mind to align with higher purposes while respecting its valid needs, creating a dynamic that is neither overly rigid nor indulgent.

Summary:

• Identifying too closely with our mind prevents us from understanding it objectively.
• Only by saying no to the mind can we begin to know it—learning which impulses need monitoring and which instincts can be constructive.
• By avoiding the extremes of being dominated by the mind or dominating it, we can build a balanced, constructive relationship through firm boundaries and thoughtful facilitation.

Think it over:

• Recollect an incident where saying no to your mind helped you better understand its nature.
• What are the two extremes to be avoided when dealing with the mind?
• Contemplate how to create a healthy working relationship with your mind by listing three impulses to restrain and three interests or instincts to facilitate.

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06.05 One must deliver himself with the help of his mind, and not degrade himself. The mind is the friend of the conditioned soul, and his enemy as well.