Please change the memories replaying inside me

Bhagavad Gita 2.59

viṣayā vinivartante

nirāhārasya dehinaḥ

rasa-varjaṁ raso ’py asya

paraṁ dṛṣṭvā nivartate

 

“From sense pleasures the wise person abstains,

Yet the taste in the heart remains.

But seeing the Supreme, sweet and bright,

Even that craving loses its might.”

 

My dear Lord, it is impossible to live completely free from exposure to temptation in a world that is filled with temptations.

Even when I resolve to turn away from them so that the images playing in front of my eyes do not get imprinted in my mind, my mind simply switches gears and replaces them with images from my past—replaying them on an endless loop.

The best way—indeed, the only way—I can truly be free from temptation is if those inner memories stop running endlessly inside my mind. And for that, O Lord, I need your mercy. Let it be the memories of your sweetness, attractiveness, and mercifulness that start playing and replaying in my mind.

I am trying to expose myself to outer stimuli that will hopefully produce strong and active devotional memories inside me. Yet, I seem utterly clueless about my inner world—not knowing where the pause button is or where the play button is, or even being fully aware of what is actually playing inside me.

O Lord, I beg you for mercy. Please appreciate whatever little efforts I am making to provide positive memories inside me and, through your incomparable grace, intervene—implanting and replaying devotional and divine memories inside me.

It is only this grace that can save me from temptation’s vicious embrace.

***

02.59 Though the embodied soul may be restricted from sense enjoyment, the taste for sense objects remains. But, ceasing such engagements by experiencing a higher taste, he is fixed in consciousness.