The Bhagavad-gita (17.15) recommends increased sensitivity of speech when it urges us to speak non-agitatingly and pleasingly. How can we develop such sensitivity, which essentially is increased awareness of how our words impact others emotionally? Let’s consider two things we can do: become more perceptive and more receptive.
Perceptive: When we speak to others, they may naturally evince their responses through gestures such as a wince or even words such as “What …?” Unfortunately, we may be so caught in our own thoughts, emotions and actions as to not even notice their response. Or even if we notice, we may not note it; that is, we may not dwell sufficiently on their response to realize its significance. To avoid such oversights, we can consciously alert ourselves to nonverbal and verbal cues to their feelings. Additionally, after an important interaction, we can invest some time reviewing how they responded to us, thus giving ourselves the dedicated opportunity and the focused impetus to notice their responses.
Receptive: Through both our body language and our words, we can demonstrate our eagerness to know how others are responding to us. Sometimes, all it may take is invest a little time by making ourselves available to them. If we are open and courteous, they may themselves share their feedback with us. Sometimes, we may need to specifically solicit feedback by asking them questions. We can give them the option to give feedback anonymously, thereby conveying to them that we just want to improve by getting feedback, not target the one who gave negative feedback. We can ask both close-ended and open-ended questions, thus giving them multiple options for expressing their responses: quick answers to close-ended questions for those hard-pressed for time; and detailed answers to open-ended questions for those with serious concerns.
One-sentence summary:
To increase your sensitivity, strive to become more perceptive, noting how others respond to us, and more receptive, opening ourselves to receive their feedback.
Think it over:
- How can becoming more perceptive increase our sensitivity?
- How can becoming more receptive increase our sensitivity?
- Which of these two can you do to increase your sensitivity?
***
17.15: Austerity of speech consists in speaking words that are truthful, pleasing, beneficial, and not agitating to others, and also in regularly reciting Vedic literature.
To know more about this verse, please click on the image
Leave A Comment