Some people treat self-respect as the most important thing in their life. When they feel that others are disrespecting or mistreating them, that becomes for them a make-or-break issue in that interaction or even that relationship. Due to their obsession with self-respect, others may find them hyper-sensitive, if not egoistic. 

Going to the other extreme, other people equate self-respect with ego. They believe that they are being humble when they give no consideration to how others treat them. Due to their negligence of self-respect, they may end up being trampled over, exploited or even abused

How can we avoid these extremes with regard to self-respect? By seeking a spiritual, not social, foundation for self-respect. That is, we ground our self-respect not in how others treat us, but in how we stay aware of our spiritual identity. 

The Bhagavad-gita explains that we all are essentially spiritual beings, who are parts of the divine (15.07). As such, we all are endowed with intrinsic, irreducible value. And it is our responsibility to manifest that value. How? By making tangible outer contributions that do justice to our God-given abilities and interests. And by gaining substantial inner realization of who we are at our core. 

With these twin purposes in mind, we choose our situations, interactions and relations appropriately. We strive as much as possible to place ourselves in externals that aid the manifestation of our inner value. And concomitantly we avoid externals that impede such manifestation. 

With this spiritual foundation for self-respect, our social interactions become healthier, stabler, wiser. When necessary, we can work with irritating people, without being consumed by annoyance or anger. And when required, we can walk away from control freaks, without being consumed by self-martyrdom or resentfulness.

One-sentence summary:

If our self-respect is grounded in social interactions alone, we set ourselves up for becoming either hyper-sensitive to others or manipulable by others; ground our self-respect in our spiritual identity and we gain the foundation to deal with others more judiciously.

Think it over:

  • With regard to self-respect, what are the two extremes to be avoided?
  • How can we provide a spiritual foundation for self-respect?
  • How does this spiritual foundation make our social interactions healthier? 

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15.07: The living entities in this conditioned world are My eternal fragmental parts. Due to conditioned life, they are struggling very hard with the six senses, which include the mind.

To know more about this verse, please click on the image