Don’t be difficult while going through difficulties

Our life may be difficult, but that doesn’t give us the right to be difficult

When we face tough situations, they naturally affect our behavior. We may feel distressed, agitated, frustrated, or even abandoned, leading to emotional states that manifest as unpleasant, disagreeable, or even insufferable behavior. Those around us may initially empathize and cut us some slack, understanding what we are going through. However, if such behavior persists or worsens, it can alienate even those closest to us.

Worse, such behavior might antagonize others who once considered us even-keeled and reliable. This social alienation is often not just due to our emotional state but also due to an underlying attitude of entitlement—where we feel justified in our negativity because of our difficulties. The Bhagavad Gita (18.35) warns against a perverse determination to cling to unhealthy emotional patterns, such as self-pity. If we believe that our life’s challenges grant us the right to be perpetually difficult—radiating unhappiness and expecting others to share in our misery—we risk driving people away rather than drawing them closer for support.

Yes, life does present difficulties for everyone at some point. The key lies in cultivating the inner gumption to face these challenges without being a wet blanket for others. Spiritual practices such as meditation and prayer can help us recognize that a higher reality cares for us, offering composure, comfort, and confidence. By accessing such time-honored sources of positivity, we can face life’s challenges resourcefully rather than resentfully, finding strength to rise above negativity.

Summary:

• Difficult situations can lead to unpleasant behavior, but prolonged negativity—especially when accompanied by a sense of entitlement—can alienate even those who care for us.
• Recognizing that everyone faces challenges and accessing spiritual practices like prayer and meditation can help us respond resourcefully rather than resentfully.
• By cultivating perspective and positivity, we can avoid being difficult during tough times, ensuring we remain supported by those around us.

Think it over:

• Recall a situation where someone behaved unpleasantly with you, but you excused their behavior upon understanding their difficulties.
• Consider if you know anyone whose habitual negativity has led you to distance yourself from them. Could your behavior mirror theirs in any way?
• List two ways you can ensure you don’t become difficult while facing difficult situations.

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18.35 And that determination which cannot go beyond dreaming, fearfulness, lamentation, moroseness and illusion – such unintelligent determination, O son of Pṛthā, is in the mode of darkness.