Bhagavad Gita 18.35

yayā svapnaṁ bhayaṁ śokaṁ

viṣādaṁ madam eva ca

na vimuñcati durmedhā

dhṛtiḥ sā pārtha tāmasī

 

That determination, dark and blind,

Clings to sleep and fears of mind;

To sorrow, despair, and drunken pride,

In such dark resolve the deluded abide.

 

My dear Lord, whenever I resolve to get rid of some unhealthy habit and fail despite repeated attempts, I often beat myself up for having little or no determination. Help me see my relapses not as the absence of determination, but as the misdirection of determination.

O omniscient Lord, please help me see determination as a feature of my very existence, not just as an act of concentrated and concerted willpower. Accordingly, my relapses become demonstrations not of the absence of determination, but its presence, albeit misdirected: the fact that I can hold on to an unwanted habit even when it has unpleasant consequences shows the strength of my intention.

O all-empowering Lord, may this vision change how I see myself: not as a victim being held in the lethal grip of a hostile attachment, but as an unwitting prisoner shackled by my own inability to leverage the very force by which I can break free. Let me thus see that my laziness is not the lack of determination, but the presence of determination unwittingly harnessed in the service of lethargy. May I then be energized, even electrified, to rescue and release my determination and redirect it toward worthier endeavors, including ultimately service to you.

O Supreme Rescuer, please help me tap the power of my determination so that it will no longer trap me.

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18.35 And that determination which cannot go beyond dreaming, fearfulness, lamentation, moroseness and illusion – such unintelligent determination, O son of Pṛthā, is in the mode of darkness.