When we find faults with others, we are often told to not have a fault-finding mentality. In response, we may defend ourselves, “But I am only finding faults that exist.”

True, but everyone has faults – we ourselves are no exceptions. In our relationships, we need to do those things that strengthen the relationship and avoid those things that weaken it. And few things weaken a relationship as much as faultfinding.

The Bhagavad-gita (16.02) lists aversion to faultfinding as a characteristic of the godly. How do they develop such aversion? By focusing on God and good everywhere, not on the absence of godliness and goodness in people around them.

Helping us develop such a positive vision, Gita wisdom explains that God is present in everyone’s hearts; and everyone, at the core, is a pure soul who is part of God and who is therefore godly and good. Whatever faults others have are due to the conditionings temporarily covering them. Through our relationships, we are meant to help bring out the good in others.

With this devotional vision, we can see faults less. That practically means:

  • To not see only the faults in others, to not reduce people to their faults.
  • To not speak out faults as soon as we see them, but wait to consider whether we have the right disposition, right position and right situation to correct constructively.
  • To not reduce our interactions with others to faultfinding alone, to speak words of appreciation and encouragement – appreciation for the good they already have, and encouragement for the improvement they need to make.

When we thus see faults less, our own negative moods will become less; as others’ energy becomes freed from defending and available for rectifying, their faults will gradually become less; and our relationships will become deeper, sweeter, richer.

 

Think it over:

  • How can we develop aversion to faultfinding?
  • What does seeing faults less mean?
  • What is the result of seeing faults less?

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