Wherever we go, we will be carrying our sorry self with us; stop feeling sorry for ourselves, and stop being the kind of person that we need to feel sorry for. Life is tough, and people can be rough. We all have messy stuff inside us, and it’s natural to feel overwhelmed by it all. We may feel sorry for ourselves due to the difficulties we face, both external and internal. In light of these challenges, we might hope to go somewhere far away to escape the mess we are in and the mess within us. However, wherever we go, we take our sorry self along. We cannot run away from ourselves.
What can we do, then, to avoid being drowned in negative emotions arising from internal and external difficulties? The solution involves two parts: addressing the emotion we are experiencing and addressing the cause of that emotion.
The first step is to stop feeling sorry for ourselves. Bad things may have happened to us, but there are people in the world who have faced far worse. We may have done bad things, but there are others who have done far worse things too. The fact that we are still alive means life is not done with us yet; there is something we can do and are meant to do. Feeling sorry for ourselves won’t improve anything; it will only lead to wallowing in self-pity until we drown in self-induced negativity. We can choose to accept ourselves as we are, just as we would accept someone we care for, despite their flaws.
Self-acceptance does not mean turning a blind eye to everything wrong with us. It means seeing beyond our flaws to recognize what is right within us. We have a spiritual core; we are sparks of the divine. Once we resolve not to succumb to negative emotions, we can take the next step and address the sources of those emotions. This means no longer allowing ourselves to remain someone we feel sorry for.
We can identify our flaws and focus on which ones are most significant and most changeable. From there, we can zero in on one fault and start working on it by taking small, tangible steps toward improvement. By envisioning a better version of ourselves—someone we would be happy to be with—we can outline those small, actionable steps and move forward. The key is not to underestimate these steps or doubt our ability to maintain them over time.
We may surprise ourselves by simply doing what we can and realizing it makes a positive difference. That difference, although small at first, builds up over time. The progress might be evolutionary in the beginning, but it can lead to revolutionary transformation. This path of self-improvement is encouraged by the Bhagavad Gita 6.5, which exhorts us to elevate ourselves and not degrade ourselves.
Summary:
- We can resolve to stop feeling sorry for ourselves by remembering that self-pity will only worsen our situation.
- Addressing self-pity involves accepting that we cannot run away from ourselves and recognizing that we have a pure, divine core that is inherently good.
- Our life, when seen from a broader perspective, is often not as bad as we think, and others may be in far worse situations.
- We can tackle self-pity by identifying a specific, significant flaw and working to transform it, taking small, doable steps toward becoming a better version of ourselves.
Think it over:
- What is wrong with feeling sorry for ourselves?
- How can we counter the emotion of self-pity?
- What flaw can you address so that you no longer feel the need for self-pity?
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06.05 One must deliver himself with the help of his mind, and not degrade himself. The mind is the friend of the conditioned soul, and his enemy as well.
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