Developing Resilience by Changing Our Driving Question
We all need to develop resilience because life is hard—it will knock us down sooner or later. Resilience is largely determined by what goes on [...]
The dual defenses against self-destructive impulses
Whenever we struggle with conditionings that impel us toward actions we know we shouldn't do, two defense mechanisms can protect us: conscience and intelligence. Conscience [...]
Overcoming self-consciousness with a focus on higher purpose
Whenever we become excessively self-conscious, we tend to worry too much about how others see us, what they think about us, and what they might [...]
Inability vs. unwillingness: Facing challenges and understanding ourselves
Inability vs. unwillingness: Facing challenges and understanding ourselves Whenever we face difficult situations—whether a work deadline or a family emergency requiring us to stretch beyond [...]
Our inner war against temptation is far bigger than we think
Whenever we strive for self-improvement, particularly in resisting self-sabotaging indulgences, we may perceive this battle as a personal affair with minimal consequences. This mindset can [...]
How to change when we don’t feel ready to change?
Even if we don't feel ready to change, we can change to feel ready. Start from wherever we are, not where we think we need [...]
Focus on who will be responsible not on who was responsible.
Whenever things go wrong, finding someone to blame is a default human tendency. When there isn’t anyone clearly to blame, we tend to presume that [...]
Understanding the reflective self and the impulsive self
Understanding the reflective self and the impulsive self - We often experience an inner tug of war between opposing voices. To better understand these forces, [...]
The easiest way to fail is the worst way to fail
The easiest way to fail is the worst way to fail - Suppose we attempt something challenging and fail. We may feel disappointed, even devastated. [...]
Why we need to improve ourselves
We all know various areas where we can improve ourselves: exercise regularly, become better-organized, meditate earnestly. Yet we often neglect such self-improvement. Why? Because we [...]
Our choice: push up or be pulled down?
Suppose we hold an object such as a dumb bell in front of us. If we let go of it, it will fall down. If [...]
Our potential for stupidity
We all are prone to temptation, especially to the temptations that we have indulged in the past and that we are habituated to. If we [...]
When our repentant tears reform and when they don’t
We may shed tears of repentance when we have made some terrible mistake or acted in some grievously immoral way. Those tears can clean and [...]
How to use down-time positively?
We all sometimes become frustrated when we are forced into downtime because the Internet or the power go off or because a pandemic forces us [...]
How to change our inner frequency
We all have a certain frequency to our thoughts. Roughly speaking, this correlates with the thoughts that most often frequent our mind. If we frequently [...]
Don’t just be remorseful — be resourceful too
We all stumble and fall at times. And sometimes our mistakes have serious, even grievous, consequences. On committing such mistakes, it's natural and necessary that [...]
Things that are worth doing are worth doing well — and worth doing badly too
“If a thing is worth doing, it is worth doing well.” This saying is helpful if it inspires us to be wholehearted in doing whatever [...]
Respond to moral failure not by mental punishment but by spiritual reinstatement
Respond to moral failure not by mental punishment but by spiritual reinstatement Life can be a constant moral struggle. We are prone to hundreds and [...]
Regret for wrongdoing reforms regret for only the consequence of wrongdoing deforms
Regret for wrongdoing reforms regret for only the consequence of wrongdoing deforms Suppose a teenager drives beyond the speed limit just for the thrill of [...]
Sincerity can show the path to ability; it can’t substitute for ability
Suppose a loved one is terribly sick and needs surgery. We sincerely want to help them, but if we don’t know the ABC of surgery, [...]
Don’t use others to feel better about yourself learn from others how to become better
Don’t use others to feel better about yourself learn from others how to become better When we are distressed, we often need someone to unburden [...]