Love is one of the most common themes in popular media such as movies and novels. As today’s culture is increasingly moving toward individualism, sometimes even obsessive individualism, the contemporary conception of love has changed drastically: nowadays, love is much more about one’s own feelings and how the other person makes us feel good. 

While that is one aspect of love, it has another, far more important aspect: a sacrificial aspect. Therein, we give due importance to the other person’s needs, interests and concerns — and accordingly, appropriately subordinate our own needs, interests and concerns. If we reject this sacrificial spirit, we deprive ourselves of the capacity to truly love. Our love remains superficial, as does our relationship. And we descend to a lowered consciousness, wherein we lose the inclination and the intent to go deep into any relationship, present or potential. Without a sacrificial spirit, our heart remains empty; and our life becomes filled with activities that are worthless, if not self-destructive (Bhagavad-gita 03.16). 

But won’t sacrificing ourselves take us away from ourselves? To the contrary it has the best potential to bring out our best. How ? By exhorting us to draw out our latent self. Love in a sacrificial spirit inspires us to become better — if not for our own sake, then for the sake of the one we love. And the more glorious the object of our love, the more the offering of our consciousness to that object sublimates our character. Such offering inspires and empowers us to draw out our latent virtues and abilities by which we can express our love, thereby sustaining and sweetening that relationship. 

And the most glorious object of love is Krishna. That’s why when we love him with a sacrificial spirit, we progress rapidly toward realizing and relishing our deepest self. 

One-sentence summary:

If we believe we can love without sacrifice, we sacrifice our ability to love. 

Think it over: 

  • What’s wrong with contemporary conceptions of love?
  • What happens when we neglect the sacrificial aspect of love?
  • How does love help us to manifest our best self?

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03.16: My dear Arjuna, one who does not follow in human life the cycle of sacrifice thus established by the Vedas certainly leads a life full of sin. Living only for the satisfaction of the senses, such a person lives in vain.

To know more about this verse, please click on the image