Everyone has problems. This statement can be an expression of empathy, but it can also be an expression of apathy. What it conveys depends on the intent and the context of the statement.

The Bhagavad Gita declares that this world is a place of distress. This philosophical declaration can be brought down to the level of human experience by saying, “Everyone has problems.” No one in the world lives a problem-free life. When we make this statement to someone in distress, we may want to empathize with them, conveying that we understand, at least to some degree, what they are going through. However, such a statement needs to be followed by other expressions that convey our support and willingness to help.

When we share our own problems, is it to simply shift the focus of the conversation from them to us in a somewhat self-centered way, or is it to share insights that may be helpful to them, underscoring that we aren’t giving those insights from an ivory tower but have gleaned them from our own hard-earned experience?

Unfortunately, statements like “Everyone has problems” can be used intentionally—or convey unintentionally—the idea that we are trivializing or minimizing their problems. If we convey apathy toward others’ problems, even if unintentionally, our statement may seem dismissive. Even if our intention is to encourage them not to drown in self-pity but to rise and take responsibility for dealing with their problems just as everyone else is dealing with theirs, we must have an overall encouraging tone; otherwise, our statements can backfire.

The Bhagavad Gita shows how statements about the universality of misery can be used to convey empathy, encouragement, and even empowerment. Krishna’s message to a distressed Arjuna about the nature of the world as a place of distress does not increase Arjuna’s distress but instead increases his composure and confidence for dealing with an unavoidably distressful confrontation that has escalated into a martial conflict.

By understanding, appreciating, and adopting Krishna’s tone and mood of compassion in the Gita, we too can help those in distress through our statements about the universality of distress.

Summary:

  • We may state that “everyone has problems” to empathize with others and to share our experiences and insights about similar problems so they feel inspired to take responsibility.
  • However, our statements may come across as apathetic, where we seem to be minimizing or trivializing their problems, potentially alienating or antagonizing them.
  • By adopting the compassionate tone and mood Krishna demonstrates in the Bhagavad Gita, we can help alleviate the distress of others by empathetically talking about the universality of distress.

Think it over:

  • Can you recollect any incident when someone’s statement about the universality of suffering conveyed empathy to you, and how it conveyed empathy?
  • Can you recollect an opposite incident when a similar statement conveyed apathy to you, and contemplate why that happened?
  • When you guide someone in distress, how can you ensure that you are conveying empathy and not apathy?

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08.15 After attaining Me, the great souls, who are yogīs in devotion, never return to this temporary world, which is full of miseries, because they have attained the highest perfection.