Wanting our wants or valuing our values?
When we try to improve ourselves, we often need to fight against our wants, especially those that are unhealthy or disproportionate. Yet we seem to [...]
How not to cultivate gratitude
We all know the importance of cultivating gratitude. And we all have in our life at least some good things that we should feel grateful [...]
Why focusing on relapse prevention can be unhelpful
When we seek self-transformation by giving up an unhealthy habit, we often assess our progress based on whether we can prevent relapses. However, such an [...]
When we can’t give up an unhealthy habit …
If an unhealthy habit keeps recurring despite our best efforts, how can we progress in self-transformation? By changing our attitude toward that habit: we can [...]
How can grievous wrongdoing be reconciled with devotion?
The Bhagavad-gita (09.30) raises a serious question: How can grievous wrongdoing and devotion go together? To address this question, consider the ocean-anchor metaphor. We all [...]
Holding on to the Krishna anchor
Suppose someone is lost in an ocean and is being tossed around by the waves. If they are fortunate enough to find an anchor that [...]
Seeing Krishna’s love for us and showing our love for him
Many of us turn toward God after we have tried everything else in our quest to be happy and it all has left us disappointed. [...]
Why we may relapse into unhealthy behaviors
When we succeed in giving up some unhealthy behavior, we usually feel encouraged, even delighted. But then seemingly out of the blue, we relapse. When [...]
When self-talk is counterproductive and when productive
Self-talk can refer to two broad things: Something inside us talks to us: We all have a voice inside us that keeps commenting about the [...]
Beyond pat explanations for our unhealthy behaviors
Suppose an airplane crashes, leading to huge casualties and damages. When questioned about the cause of the crash, suppose the airline company reports, “The plane [...]
How to better manage our emotions
Our emotions are an essential part of who we are; without them, we would be reduced to a flavorless, robotic existence. Though they add value [...]
How curiosity can increase our self-awareness
We all are naturally curious: the many breaking news are just one among hundreds of things that cater to our curiosity. That universally present faculty [...]
Why equal treatment can sometimes seem unequal
Suppose a parent has two children, one younger and the other older. Suppose the younger sibling is just learning to eat from a plate and [...]
Two ways of surrendering to God’s will
In the Bhagavad-gita’s conclusion, Arjuna responds to Krishna’s call to surrender (18.66) by resolving to do Krishna’s will (18.73). To understand what his declaration means, [...]
The difference between compassion and compromise
Suppose we are building a staircase to a scenic spot on a hilltop. Suppose we make the steps so big that people have to pull [...]
How to deal with fear of failure
Whenever we try to improve ourselves by doing something challenging, such as giving up a long-held unhealthy habit or developing a long-sought healthy habit, a [...]
Creating safe zones in our war against temptation
Soldiers in a war zone can get burned out due to the stress of always being on high alert. To reduce such burnout, they need [...]
Two aspects of compassion as seen through our speech
Suppose a doctor sees a sick person and decides to offer free treatment in the form of an injection. Suppose further that the patient has [...]
What forgiving ourselves means — and what it doesn’t mean
Suppose we have made some grievous mistake that has hurt others terribly. Irrespective of whether others forgive us or not, we may refuse to forgive [...]
Why we need to forgive ourselves
Suppose we have mistreated others grievously in the past. We may resolve to never forgive ourselves as a way to make up for those actions. [...]
When contemplating our mistakes helps and when it doesn’t …
Humility, which is lauded as a prime virtue in the Bhagavad-gita (13.08), is often misunderstood. One such misunderstanding centers on how it can be developed: [...]