Why self-awareness matters more than self-discipline — Desire management series 3 – Whenever a desire drives us into doing something regrettable, we may think that desire is the problem and self-discipline, the solution.

However, the root problem is not desire per se, but superfluous desire that takes us away from our essence. And the foundational solution is not self-discipline, but self-awareness. Self-discipline centers on using our willpower to say no to the desires inside us, whereas self-awareness centers on remembering who we really are and what really matters for us. 

Self-awareness aids desire management in two ways:

  1. Decreases the consciousness available for superfluous desires: Consciousness is the basic energy that is used by both awareness and desire. When we direct our consciousness toward cultivating self-awareness, the consciousness available for our superfluous desires decreases. And the less we think about a desire, the less becomes its power to captivate us. 
  2. Reveals discipline to be a yes to ourselves, not a no to ourselves: When self-discipline requires us to say no to a desire that has arisen within us, we often feel that we are saying no to ourselves. That feeling makes us reluctant or even resentful, thereby undercutting our willpower to discipline ourselves. However, self-awareness helps us understand that we are not our desires; we are the observer of our desires. And we can observe that the superfluous desire is arising from our mind and is in disharmony with our values and purposes — in saying no to it, we are saying yes to the essence of who we are. That vision boosts our willpower, making self-discipline easier. 

Emphasizing the need to cultivate such self-awareness, the Bhagavad-gita (06.05) urges us to elevate ourselves by identifying with our core self, not degrade ourselves by identifying with the mind that is filled with superfluous desires.  

One-sentence summary:

Desires in themselves are not the problem; desires that take us away from our essence are — to manage desires, focus more on self-awareness than on self-discipline. 

Think it over:

  • What is the difference between self-discipline and self-awareness?
  • How does self-awareness disempower our superfluous desires?
  • How does self-awareness boost our willpower? 

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06.05: One must deliver himself with the help of his mind, and not degrade himself. The mind is the friend of the conditioned soul, and his enemy as well.

Why self-awareness matters more than self-discipline — Desire management series 3

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