Even when we want to change ourselves by giving up unhealthy habits and developing healthy habits, why do we fall short? How can we overcome those shortcomings?

Generally, change requires the healthy combination of two factors: the desire to change and the confidence that change is possible. The desire to change comes from looking at the big picture, and confidence comes from taking small steps.

If we consider the daily cost of not changing, it may not seem to be much. Suppose every day we spend half an hour too much on social media, doomscrolling. That may seem to be no big deal. But half an hour every day adds up to about 45 hours every three months. In that much time, we could easily read a 200-page book, or at least 100 pages of even a demanding spiritual or philosophical book.

If we continue wasting this half hour every day for the next ten years, we will have wasted more than 1,800 hours. Seeing this big picture—how much we stand to lose by continuing an unhealthy habit and how much we stand to gain by cultivating a healthy habit—can strengthen within us the desire to change.

Contemplating such a big picture requires the use of intelligence, and thus the Bhagavad Gita (3.43) urges us to situate ourselves on the platform of intelligence.

Simultaneously, we need confidence that we can change, and that generally develops by taking small, simple steps that are doable for us. If we think that we have to read a 300-page book, we may feel overwhelmed and not even start. But if we decide, “I will read one page every day,” and do that even for a week, it gives us confidence that it is possible for us to do something positive.

For sustainable change, we cannot depend primarily on someone else encouraging us or on our achieving something special. Yes, those things can boost our confidence, but they are not always in our control, nor will they happen constantly. If we want a regular and reliable source of confidence, we need to set a meaningful purpose for ourselves and take tangible steps in pursuit of that purpose.

That’s why, whatever change we want—whether decreasing an unhealthy habit or increasing a healthy habit—we can focus on the small, simple steps we can take in that direction. As we take those small steps, our confidence increases; and as our confidence increases, we may well become capable of taking bigger steps.

Thus, sustainable change requires both seeing big and starting small: seeing the big picture strengthens our desire to change, and taking small steps strengthens our confidence that we can change.

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03.43 Thus knowing oneself to be transcendental to the material senses, mind and intelligence, O mighty-armed Arjuna, one should steady the mind by deliberate spiritual intelligence [Kṛṣṇa consciousness] and thus – by spiritual strength – conquer this insatiable enemy known as lust.