What does growing up mean? – If someone is whiny, a candid well-wisher may exhort them: “Grow up.” What does it mean? It refers not to physical growth but to emotional growth, which in turn refers to the ability to manage one’s emotions vis-à-vis life’s situations.

When small children face any unpleasant situation, their default response is emotion-driven: they just start crying. For example, when they are hungry or thirsty, they cry — and their parents rush to provide their needs. They may cry to fulfill not just their needs but also their desires. If they don’t get a toy they want, they may throw a tantrum till they get it. As they grow up, they are expected to better manage their emotions when things don’t go their way. 

And things will sometimes, even oftentimes, not go our way as we grow up biologically and face life’s harsh realities. We may find that many of our desires can’t be fulfilled — even some of our needs sometimes stay unfulfilled. The Bhagavad-gita (01.30) depicts a situation wherein the great warrior Arjuna confronted a petrifying prospect: the frustration of his desire to keep his beloved elders alive. 

When we grow up emotionally, we learn to accept life’s refusals without too much drama or trauma. Absent such emotional growth, we may throw adult versions of temper tantrums. One common version is whininess, wherein we complain constantly about how unhappy we are, how uncaring people are, how unfair the world is. Of course, when faced with a major reversal, some venting is understandable. But chronic moping is unpleasant and unhelpful, for us as well as those around us. We become like babies who keep crying incessantly —  we do nothing except spread misery internally and externally. The only way out is to grow up. 

One-sentence summary:

Growing up means learning to accept no gracefully. 

Think it over:

  • What does the call to grow up mean?
  • Why do we need to grow up emotionally?
  • Do you complain about anything regularly? Does it point to any area where you need to grow up?

***

01.30: I am now unable to stand here any longer. I am forgetting myself, and my mind is reeling. I see only causes of misfortune, O Krishṇa, killer of the Keshi demon.

What does growing up mean?