Most of us have probably seen someone being manipulated—or have ourselves been manipulated. Usually, manipulation works by identifying and exploiting a weakness. Someone who is egoistic may be won over through flattery and induced to accept ideas that are unwise or even harmful. In the Ramayana, Shurpanakha similarly exploited Ravana’s lust by describing Sita’s extraordinary beauty and provoking in him the desire to possess her.

But the most dangerous manipulators don’t exploit only our weaknesses; they can weaponize our strengths against us. Suppose someone is polite, helpful, and reluctant to refuse requests. A manipulator may exploit that very helpfulness by repeatedly dumping their responsibilities on that person. What should have been a virtue becomes a vulnerability.

Ravana resorted to an even more sinister form of such manipulation when he approached Sita disguised as an ascetic. Knowing her respect for saintly persons and her eagerness to serve them, he exploited those virtues to draw her out of the protection available to her and facilitate her abduction. He did not tempt her through a weakness; he entrapped her through a strength.

The Bhagavad-gita’s sixteenth chapter describes the demoniac mentality in which cunningly defeating and destroying others becomes a cause for self-congratulation. Ordinarily, when good people see goodness in someone, they appreciate it and may even aspire to cultivate it themselves. How perverse, then, is the mentality that sees another person’s goodness and thinks not, “How can I develop that?” but “How can I exploit that?”

Therefore, protecting ourselves from manipulation requires knowing not only our weaknesses, but also which of our strengths can be exploited when they lack appropriate boundaries.

SUMMARY:

Most manipulators exploit our weaknesses; master manipulators exploit our strengths.

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16.14 [The demoniac person thinks:] “… He is my enemy, and I have killed him, and my other enemies will also be killed. I am the lord of everything. I am the enjoyer. I am perfect, powerful and happy…”