Suppose a child throws a tantrum in a public place, demanding a toy. The parent obviously has far greater power than the child. Yet does the parent have control?

That depends on what the parent is ready to endure to exercise that power. If the parent refuses the toy, are they ready to endure the child crying loudly and creating a scene? If the parent yells at the child, are they ready to endure the embarrassment of people staring or even glaring at them? And are they ready to deal with the child sulking for hours afterward?

The parent has power, but translating that power into control comes with a price.

This illustrates an important distinction: power is potential; control is actual. Having power means that we have the capacity to influence others. Gaining control means actually exercising that capacity sufficiently to make things go our way. And that exercise often has consequences—for others, for us, and for our relationships.

In using power, we can swing toward two extremes. If we indiscriminately translate all our power into control, we become tyrants, imposing our will simply because we can. Conversely, if we never translate our power into control, we become paper tigers, possessing power but unwilling to use it even when necessary.

Between the tyrant and the paper tiger is the wise trainer—one who knows when to translate power into control and when not to.

Pertinently, the Bhagavad-gita (18.30) describes intelligence in goodness as the capacity to discern what should be done and what should not be done. Such intelligence considers the various factors associated with an action—our inclinations and inhibitions, our obligations, and the overall ramifications. Applied to power, intelligence asks not merely, “Can I impose control?” but also, “What will imposing control require, and is it worth the price?”

Summary:

An authority has power over their subordinates, but they need to know when to translate that power into control: if they do it always, they become tyrants; if they never do it, they become paper tigers; if they do it judiciously, they become wise leaders.

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18.30 O son of Pṛthā, that understanding by which one knows what ought to be done and what ought not to be done, what is to be feared and what is not to be feared, what is binding and what is liberating, is in the mode of goodness.