When we are good at something, we can easily spot others’ weaknesses in that area. For example, if we are good at language, our attention automatically zooms to others’ grammatical shortcomings.
Still, when people have an ability deficiency – they are tone-deaf – we learn to live with it. But when they have a behavioral deficiency – they are forgetful, untidy or unpunctual – we often find that intolerable. We feel that they could easily improve, if they would just try.
However, we are seeing their situation from our perspective, not theirs. To be fair to them, we can contemplate that just as we have our conditionings that we struggle with, so too do they have their particular conditionings that they struggle with.
Pertinently, the Bhagavad-gita states that aversion to faultfinding characterizes the godly (16.02), whereas anger, arrogance and harshness characterize the ungodly (16.04). If we harp on others’ faults, we act in an ungodly way. Moreover, we irritate, even alienate them; and we inflate our ego. As our faultfinding aggravates our ungodliness, our inability to tolerate their weakness becomes our weakness.
To overcome this weakness, we need spiritual understanding. We all are souls on a multi-life journey of spiritual evolution. During our life-journey, we are meant to help each other grow towards Krishna, whose parts we are eternally.
Rather than obsessing over others’ deficiencies, we can focus on how our relationship can aid their spiritual evolution and our spiritual evolution. Seeing them as parts of Krishna meant to be served, if we learn to accept them as they are, they feel freed to redirect their energy from justifying themselves to rectifying themselves. Even if they don’t rectify themselves, still we please Krishna by our service attitude. And he helps us improve ourselves, enabling us to come closer to him and fulfill our life’s ultimate purpose.
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Very nicely written. I’m wondering how does this apply to a spouse cheating on you more than once. For one that is not a self realized soul, on the bodily platform, and is honest with themselves, this seems to mean that we allow the cheating to happen. Because we don’t want to harp on their weakness or contribute to ourselves acting ungodly. Doesn’t make sense. Could you please clarify?
Valid question – some weaknesses are meant to be tolerated, some need to be corrected. The behavioral weaknesses mentioned here are minor and tolerable. Certain things can’t be tolerated, as is explained here:
http://www.gitadaily.com/tolerance-is-meant-to-be-the-preventer-of-imbalance-not-its-perpetuator/
as well as here:
https://www.thespiritualscientist.com/2015/10/should-criminals-who-go-on-murderous-sprees-be-forgiven/
Hare radhakrsna
Very true and thankyou for this gitadaily com for making amazing work of delivering humanity to eternal devotees of krsna.
Thankyou gitadaily team
May Lord radhakrsna bless you always
All glories to SRI krsna chaitanya mahaprabhuji and srila prabhupadaji
Hare radhakrsna Jai radharani jai siyaram
Thank you, Ramdasa ji, for your good wishes and appreciation.
KRISHNA enables us to stand for other weaknesses
Words of wisdom , prudence and guidance at their best . In today’s world it is easy to criticize others as we see almost everyone indulging in berating others openly and even more so behind their backs in the office , in the society without the basic realization that little is going to come out of all this . If we harp on the weaknesses of others or criticize them for the same – we are just vitiating the atmosphere without achieving anything .
It is imperative to follow the advice in this article to help build a better society and generate goodwill around us which is so very important for a healthy life ..