Two ways to make our speech more effective
“How can I make my speech more effective?” We all have probably asked ourselves this question, especially after we tried to persuade someone of something [...]
Seek more to connect than to correct
On the brink of the Mahabharata war, Arjuna was overwhelmed by misdirected compassion and was about to abandon his duty. Krishna could simply have corrected [...]
When being truthful makes us unhelpful …
Suppose a first-grade student struggling with math approaches their teacher and says: “This is so difficult.” And the teacher shows the student a 500-page book [...]
How can we know when we are gossiping?
Most of us may agree that it’s not good to gossip. We may even believe that we never gossip. But to be sure about that, [...]
How gossip can go dangerously out of control
Suppose we pushed a small snowball down a hill just for fun. It rolls down out of our sight and we forget about it. But [...]
How to speak an unpalatable truth?
Truth is unpalatable — we may quote this saying while speaking to others some truth that is likely to hurt them. Yes, we all are [...]
Are we committing violence with our mouth?
When we grow in wisdom, we learn to live more consciously. We inspect our habitual actions and their consequences in an interconnected universe. By such [...]
What are we seeking when we are speaking?
When we speak with others to persuade them about something, how can we make our speaking more effective? By remembering that speaking is meant to [...]
How to resolve arguments with our loved ones?
Suppose we get into an argument with someone, specifically a loved one with whom we want a long-lasting relationship. We may try to prove our [...]
Condescension looks down at others while laughing at them; compassion lifts others up while laughing with them
Suppose someone walking on a road slips and falls into a manhole. If onlookers laugh without helping, that would be terrible. To laugh at others [...]
We don’t owe our friends a positive response, but we do owe them a sensitive response
Suppose we try something creative for the first time and are unsure about the quality of the product: “Is it good? Is it great? Is [...]
Before a prescription can inspire action, the diagnosis must inspire conviction
When we are in a position of guiding others, we sometimes find that people don’t listen to us. If our inputs are repeatedly neglected or [...]
Speak in a way that educates and engages, not enrages and estranges
Suppose we have some knowledge that will be helpful or valuable for others. When we speak to share it with them, we sometimes find that [...]
Appreciating others’ achievement fosters extrinsic self-worth, appreciating their commitment fosters intrinsic self-worth
Suppose we are guiding someone, as when we are parents guiding our children. Guiding involves both correcting and appreciating: correcting them when they do something [...]
To speak effectively, learn to let go of what you think you are speaking and hear what others are hearing
While communicating with others, we are often surprised, even shocked by how they misunderstand us: “I spoke something so obvious; why are they outraged? What [...]
Our tongue is like a loaded gun that we always carry within us
Suppose we have a powerful, loaded gun. We would be extremely careful that it doesn’t get fired accidentally. Scarily, we all have a powerful, loaded [...]
Don’t forget to compliment those who complement you
We all have painful inadequacies that make us dependent on others who complement us. Indeed, almost all of life’s important responsibilities require us to work [...]
Wrong philosophy may not obstruct people spiritually as much as our calling their philosophy wrong
Suppose we encounter people who follow some philosophy in which we can find many holes. We may be tempted to call their philosophy wrong. We [...]
Just because we have a right to be angry doesn’t mean we are right to be angry
Sometimes, people wrong us by acting foolishly, irresponsibly or treacherously. At such times, we feel angry with them and also feel that our anger is [...]
Opening the mouth without opening the mind helps neither the mouth nor the mind
We all have had to sometimes bite our words. On seeing or hearing something, we made a snap judgment and spoke words that we later [...]
Be mindful of people’s perceptions, but don’t make your mind full of their perceptions
When we practice spiritual life, we go against the overall materialistic current of the world. The road less traveled is the road we choose to [...]