How fear of dishonor can motivate us – Dishonor or shame can motivate us to desist from a wrong choice or persist in a right choice. While positive motivations centered on the benefits of the right choice are usually preferable, they may not always be available or adequate. We all are vulnerable to wrong choices due to outer tempting conditions and inner deluding conditionings. For choosing well, we need all the help we can get. One such help can come from negative motivators. 

Society establishes negative motivations through legal punishments for activities that are outright harmful, especially to others. However, there exist many unhealthy activities that may not be considered so harmful as to merit legal persecution. Consider drinking inordinately — though not illegal, it’s undesirable, as is conveyed by pejorative labels such as drunkards. To deter such undesirable-not-illegal activities, society may subject perpetrators to ridicule, defamation and shunning. 

Shaming has been used throughout history. For example, people in traditional cultures were shamed for having sex or children outside marriage. Nowadays, on social media, people may be shamed, even cancelled, for making offensive remarks about certain communities. 

Is shaming always good? Certainly not.  The specific purposes for shaming or the specific ways of shaming, as done in the past or at present, may need to be questioned. Nonetheless, the principle still remains true: shaming can be a useful, even powerful, mechanism to inspire deterrence from a wrong choice, especially when people fear such shaming. 

The Bhagavad-gita (02.34) uses the motivating power of shame. Krishna reminds Arjuna that  he will be derided and defamed if he refuses to fight. This reminder is intended to inspire Arjuna to stick to his difficult but essential duty: leading a fratricidal war necessary for establishing dharma, moral and spiritual order in society.

One-sentence summary:

A social culture that uses shame and an individual conscience that fears such shame can be a powerful negative motivator for making good choices. 

Think it over:

  • Why do we need help for making good choices?
  • When and why is shaming useful?
  • How can you use the fear of dishonor for motivating yourself to choose well?

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02.34: People will always speak of your infamy, and for a respectable person, dishonor is worse than death.

How fear of dishonor can motivate us

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