Does how others perceive us matter?  – The Bhagavad-gita (01.34) states that for those who have been honored, dishonor is worse than death. This verse is meant to warn the hero Arjuna that he will be mocked as a coward if he leaves the battlefield. 

Arjuna may well protest that he is not cowardly; he is compassionate — he desires to leave the battlefield not because he is afraid of losing his own life, but because he wants to prevent or at least not participate in, a catastrophic war. When he is nobly motivated, why should he bother if ignorant people ascribe ignoble motives to him?

Because our reputation affects our contribution. .

We are social creatures. While living in society, whenever we do something different from what is expected, people speculate why we did it and usually settle for the easiest explanation. If a warrior leaves a battlefield, the easiest explanation is cowardice. 

Those in prominent public positions like Arjuna are especially subjected to severe social scrutiny. Once people start perceiving him negatively, that negative perception will spread so rapidly and widely, and he will find countering it nearly impossible. Even if he says that he doesn’t care about his reputation, he needs to care for his profession which is also his calling: being a martial guardian of society. If people consider him cowardly, they will no longer trust him as their protector. And that distrust will impede his service. 

Does this mean we need to do something just for PR purposes? Certainly not; it just means that we shouldn’t do something without giving any consideration to its PR consequences. By analyzing how our actions will be perceived and how those perceptions will affect us, we can act judiciously. 

One-sentence summary: 

Don’t be obsessed with others’ perceptions of us, but don’t be oblivious to them either — be sufficiently aware of them to do our responsibilities effectively. 

Think it over:

  • Why does our reputation matter?
  • In dealing with people’s perceptions about us, what two extremes do we need to avoid?
  • Do you tend to go toward either extreme in your actions? How can you become more balanced?

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02.34: People will always speak of your infamy, and for a respectable person, dishonor is worse than death.

Does how others perceive us matter?

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