Sometimes, we face situations where serious problems are caused by specific individuals around us. This could be an exploitative boss, a manipulative colleague, or an abusive partner. If, despite our best efforts, the other person remains unreasonable and unrelenting—ignoring our perspectives and pains and refusing to change their harmful behavior—it may be time for strong action.

The nature of this action depends largely on two factors: our position and our disposition.

Position refers to the external role we have in that particular situation or relationship.

Disposition refers to our natural tendencies in how we think and act.

When the position is weak:

If we hold a weak position with a significant power imbalance and the overall environment is stacked against us, the chances of fixing the situation or bringing the person to justice are minimal. The best course of action may be to seek relief by moving away gracefully to avoid the fallout from this situation trailing us into the next.

When our disposition is non-confrontational and we naturally avoid conflicts, this approach becomes even more viable. Moving away enables us to focus on our growth without getting entangled in a prolonged and draining battle.

When the position is strong:

If our position is strong, even if our disposition is non-confrontational, we can stand up for ourselves and ensure relief with minimal confrontation. This might mean addressing the troublemaker assertively while avoiding unnecessary escalation. Here, we leverage our position of influence to resolve the situation efficiently.

When the disposition is confrontational

For individuals with a confrontational disposition, as described in Bhagavad Gita 18.43, the approach differs:

If the position is weak, strategic and resourceful efforts are crucial. Patience is essential to gradually build influence, ensuring that actions lead to meaningful change. However, during this waiting period, bitterness must not consume us, as it could shift our focus from seeking relief or reform to seeking revenge.

If the position is strong, immediate actions can be taken to address the problem and bring relief or reform. Still, vigilance is required to avoid letting personal vendettas overshadow the larger purpose of justice and resolution.

The importance of higher purpose

While the Bhagavad Gita instructs Arjuna to fight, Krishna emphasizes that this fight should be devoid of enmity (11.33). The motivation should not degenerate into personal revenge but should align with a higher purpose of serving and improving the world. Anchoring ourselves to this higher purpose protects us from being consumed by hatred and ensures sustainable change rather than a mere replacement of one self-serving leader with another.

Four quadrants of action

  1. Weak position, non-confrontational disposition: Seek relief by moving to a better place without running away in fear or leaving the matter unresolved.
  2. Strong position, non-confrontational disposition: Use the position of influence to resolve the situation with minimal confrontation.
  3. Weak position, confrontational disposition: Be strategic and resourceful, patiently building strength and avoiding bitterness that might turn the pursuit of reform into a personal vendetta.
  4. Strong position, confrontational disposition: Work immediately to resolve the issue while staying connected to a higher purpose, ensuring sustainable reform and avoiding selfish motivations.

Summary:

  • When facing trouble caused by someone, ensure the focus remains on seeking relief or reform rather than revenge.
  • The course of action depends on the combination of position and disposition: weak positions require strategic retreat or strengthening; strong positions allow immediate resolution.
  • Anchoring to a higher purpose prevents bitterness, ensuring sustainable change rather than selfish or vengeful motives.

Think it over:

  • What factors determine how you deal with a troublemaker, and in which of the four quadrants do you currently find yourself?
  • How can you seek relief without running away if you are non-confrontational?
  • How can you seek collective reform if you are confrontational without becoming vengeful?

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18.43 Heroism, power, determination, resourcefulness, courage in battle, generosity and leadership are the natural qualities of work for the kṣatriyas.