Showing others how they are wrong is not compassion, seeing how they can help themselves become more right is
If we see someone in trouble, we may naturally want to help them. And if they are in trouble because of something that they are [...]
The essence of renunciation is not giving up worldly things, it is giving up worldly thoughts
Some people define spiritual advancement in terms of renunciation: the more one physically renounces worldly things, the more spiritually advanced one is. Significantly, the Bhagavad-gita [...]
To deal with fear, focus not on what if, but on what is
Suppose we hear about an acquaintance getting a heart attack. We may become fearful: “What if I get a heart attack when I am alone [...]
We don’t owe our friends a positive response, but we do owe them a sensitive response
Suppose we try something creative for the first time and are unsure about the quality of the product: “Is it good? Is it great? Is [...]
Those who don’t find the reprehensible reprehensible, are reprehensible
Suppose someone sits and works and lives in a place that is dirty and stinky. If they don't find anything wrong with their surroundings, we [...]
The causes of anger rarely hurt us as much as the consequences of anger
Suppose someone insults us. Feeling angry, we lash out at them. They feel hurt and react defensively or aggressively, doing things that hurt us further. [...]
Before a prescription can inspire action, the diagnosis must inspire conviction
When we are in a position of guiding others, we sometimes find that people don’t listen to us. If our inputs are repeatedly neglected or [...]
The mind makes us fight wars that aren’t winnable and wars where victory is not even definable
During our life-journey, we often have to fight against various adversities and adversaries. Among these fights, the fight we focus on is frequently determined by [...]
To be compassionate, be both caring and careful
Suppose a doctor is asked to travel to an epidemic zone to treat patients. To take up such an assignment, they would need to have [...]
Don’t use others to feel better about yourself, learn from others how to become better
When we are distressed, we often need someone to unburden ourselves to. While that is an understandable and even essential human need, it can become [...]
Self-pity makes feel-bad seem feel-good
Suppose we are in physical pain. We will naturally do whatever we can to free ourselves from that pain as soon as possible. While such [...]
Speak in a way that educates and engages, not enrages and estranges
Suppose we have some knowledge that will be helpful or valuable for others. When we speak to share it with them, we sometimes find that [...]
If we justify our weaknesses by comparing ourselves with those who are weaker, we weaken our motivation to rectify ourselves
Suppose we have a weakness, say, a short temper. Driven by anger, we may speak and do things that we know we shouldn’t. Indeed, anger [...]
Even if we are feeling miserable, that doesn’t give us the right to make others miserable Gita 17.16
When something goes wrong in our lives, we may feel hurt, irritated, dejected. If we give in to bouts of self-pity and start repeating our [...]
An impurity censor makes no sense to those who don’t have even an impurity sensor
An impurity censor refers to some regulator that filters out impure content. And an impurity sensor refers to some identifying mechanism that detects impure content [...]
Those who don’t respect themselves are most agitated when others don’t respect them
When others disrespect us, we naturally feel hurt. But some people go beyond feeling hurt to wanting to hurt others, and hurt them disproportionately. Why [...]
Be childlike, not childish
Children have a charm to them. They have an innocence and freshness to them that lightens and brightens the world around them. They bring out [...]
Appreciating others’ achievement fosters extrinsic self-worth, appreciating their commitment fosters intrinsic self-worth
Suppose we are guiding someone, as when we are parents guiding our children. Guiding involves both correcting and appreciating: correcting them when they do something [...]
The notion that love can exist outside of sacrifice is a dangerous lie
In today’s world, many people equate love with feel-good. When they experience an overwhelming hormonal rush that makes them feel attracted and captivated by someone, [...]
To be nice is not to be naive — it is to be free from the control of vice
Some people say, “If you are nice, you will be exploited by others.” They equate being nice with being naive, with the starry-eyed belief that [...]
Commitment is emotional investment, attachment is emotional dependence
During the course of our relationship with our loved ones, we may get the question: How can we be committed without being attached? By being [...]