Gita 02.06 – Find Way Through Lose – Lose Problems By Seeking Emotional Distance

Audio Link 2: https://www.thespiritualscientist.com/gita-02-06-find-way-through-lose-lose-problems-by-seeking-emotional-distance/

na caitad vidmaḥ kataran no garīyo
yad vā jayema yadi vā no jayeyuḥ
yān eva hatvā na jijīviṣāmas
te ’vasthitāḥ pramukhe dhārtarāṣṭrāḥ (Bg 2.06)

Word-for-word:
na — nor; ca — also; etat — this; vidmaḥ — do we know; katarat — which; naḥ — for us; garīyaḥ — better; yat vā — whether; jayema — we may conquer; yadi — if; vā — or; naḥ — us; jayeyuḥ — they conquer; yān — those who; eva — certainly; hatvā — by killing; na — never; jijīviṣāmaḥ — we would want to live; te — all of them; avasthitāḥ — are situated; pramukhe — in the front; dhārtarāṣṭrāḥ — the sons of Dhṛtarāṣṭra.

Translation:
Nor do we know which is better – conquering them or being conquered by them. If we killed the sons of Dhṛtarāṣṭra, we should not care to live. Yet they are now standing before us on the battlefield.

Explanation:
Arjuna, after presenting his arguments against fighting, reveals the depth of his indecision. His heart is torn, and his confusion has left him practically senseless.

na caitad vidmaḥ kataran no garīyo : “I do not know which is better for us.”
yad vā jayema yadi vā no jayeyuḥ : Normally, in a competitive situation, the answer to whether winning or losing is better would be straightforward—winning is naturally the preferred outcome. However, the situation here is far more complicated. “If the Kauravas win, they will kill us, and we will perish.” On the other hand, as warriors, the Pāṇḍavas cannot flee from the battlefield—it goes against the dharma of kṣatriyas. Thus, if the war begins, “either we kill them, or they kill us. If we emerge victorious, it will come at the cost of taking the lives of our kin—something unbearable.” The peace proposals have failed due to Duryodhana’s unyielding obstinacy, leaving no avenue for reconciliation.
yān eva hatvā na jijīviṣāmas : “But if we kill them, there will be nothing left for us to live for.” Arjuna reiterates the sentiment he expressed earlier in verse 1.35, where he stated that he would not fight even for dominion over the three worlds, let alone for the earth. He reflects on the unbearable thought of living with the knowledge that he himself shed the blood of his loved ones—not just their blood but their very lives.
te ’vasthitāḥ pramukhe dhārtarāṣṭrāḥ : “And yet, the leaders of Dhṛtarāṣṭra’s army stand before us.”

Arjuna repeatedly uses the term ‘dhārtarāṣṭrāḥ’ to emphasize the familial connection, even though the Pāṇḍavas do not feel any emotional closeness to Duryodhana himself. Dhṛtarāṣṭra, however, as their uncle, had initially played a fatherly role in their lives, especially considering that the Pāṇḍavas were left fatherless at a young age due to Pāṇḍu’s early death. For a time, Dhṛtarāṣṭra showed affection towards them, treating them like his own sons.

However, as time passed, the dynamic shifted. Duryodhana’s growing envy towards Yudhiṣṭhira, particularly as Yudhiṣṭhira’s virtues began to outshine Duryodhana’s, led Dhṛtarāṣṭra to become increasingly biased. This transformation strained the relationship between the families and sowed the seeds of the eventual conflict. Arjuna’s use of dhārtarāṣṭrāḥ reflects not only the opposing forces on the battlefield but also the emotional and moral complexity of fighting those who were once considered family.

Hence, Arjuna is asking himself, “What do we do here?” He is grappling with three possible options, none of which seem acceptable:
1. If they fight and win: Victory would come at the cost of killing their opponents—respected elders and loved ones. Such a loss would render life meaningless and unworthy of living.
2. If they decide not to fight: Choosing not to fight would mean living like beggars, a deeply humiliating prospect for a kṣatriya. Although Arjuna has expressed a willingness to accept such a life under unavoidable circumstances, it is far from a preferred outcome. For a kṣatriya, living in the forest or begging for sustenance is profoundly painful and goes against their nature.
3. If they fight and are defeated: Defeat would lead to their deaths, bringing the ultimate end to their lives and purposes.
Arjuna’s predicament lies in determining the right course of action amidst these grim possibilities. The primary dilemma—”Should I fight or not fight?”—remains unresolved because no choice appears feasible or desirable.

In material life, we sometimes encounter what management or conflict resolution circles describe as ‘lose-lose situations’—scenarios where every available option results in some form of loss. As the saying goes, “be damned if you do, be damned if you don’t.” Arjuna finds himself precisely in such a predicament.

This situation mirrors the famous existential dilemma expressed by Shakespeare: “To do or not to do, that is the question.” Arjuna must choose between two difficult paths:
1. To act—plunging into the complexities and consequences of his choices, which may involve unbearable outcomes.
2. To refrain from acting—living with the gnawing uncertainty of what might have been if he had chosen otherwise.
This dilemma highlights a universal struggle—when faced with difficult decisions, there are often no easy answers. The weight of both action and inaction can be equally heavy, leaving one caught in a state of paralyzing indecision.

However, the key takeaway for us is that unguided human intelligence, no matter how brilliant, often ends in confusion. Arjuna, despite being well-versed in scriptures, morally conscious, and even quoting scriptural principles, finds himself entangled in doubt and indecision. His scriptural knowledge and moral sensibility alone are insufficient to resolve his dilemma.

It is only in the next verse, when Arjuna surrenders to Kṛṣṇa, that he begins to gain clarity. This underscores the universal need for divine guidance—Kṛṣṇa’s wisdom, conveyed through his representatives, is essential for making sound decisions.

When we face lose-lose situations, the way to avoid losing is by rising. Rising means elevating our consciousness to a higher level, where considerations beyond the apparent dilemmas of material life come into play. From this elevated perspective, we can factor in higher principles and make decisions about what is truly worth doing and what is not.
For Arjuna, the key to overcoming his confusion lies in raising his consciousness—a transformation that the Bhagavad-gītā will facilitate.

Sometimes, when we face problems, we tend to keep thinking and talking about them, which often exacerbates our sense of being overwhelmed. The more we dwell on the problem, the bigger it seems to grow in our minds. While discussing our challenges can sometimes help, especially if we seek guidance from a spiritual mentor, this is not always the case.

At times, even when we approach a spiritual guide, we may be so confused and entangled in our thoughts that we cannot fully grasp or appreciate the guidance offered. We might focus on finding faults in their advice or struggle to articulate our problem clearly. This lack of clarity can hinder our ability to receive and apply the guidance effectively.

If a patient fails to communicate their symptoms accurately, how can a doctor diagnose the condition and prescribe the right treatment? Similarly, while surrendering to a spiritual master and seeking guidance from spiritual authority are crucial principles, it is equally important for us to take personal responsibility.

Just as a doctor takes responsibility for treating a patient, the patient must take responsibility for clearly conveying their condition and providing feedback on how the treatment is affecting them. The relationship is not one-sided—it requires active participation from both parties. The doctor provides instructions, but the patient must also monitor their progress and periodically report their health status.

Similarly, we can, we need to, and we should take guidance from the spiritual master, but alongside that, we must also take responsibility for ourselves. This includes organizing our thoughts and presenting our concerns clearly. When problems, especially those of a lose-lose nature, seem insurmountable, simply dwelling on them—thinking and talking about them repeatedly—can make them feel even more overwhelming.

In such situations, it is wise to take a deliberate break from the problem. Shifting our focus to something more relaxing, comforting, or rejuvenating can help. Engaging in our most nourishing form of devotional service, which allows us to absorb ourselves in Kṛṣṇa, can be especially effective. Through this, we gain strength, elevate our consciousness, and create some distance from the problem.

Sometimes, even verbalizing the problem—such as writing it down in a journal—can help. As long as the thoughts remain in the mind, they occupy mental space, creating congestion and aggravating confusion. Writing them down clears this mental clutter, allowing us to view the problem with greater objectivity. Once the thoughts are externalized, we can evaluate them more effectively, present the issue more clearly, and seek spiritual guidance from others.

What we truly need in such situations is to create distance from the problem so we can see the bigger picture and find a way forward. This distance isn’t necessarily physical, but emotional. By getting our thoughts out of our heads, either by writing them down or consulting someone who has emotional distance from the issue, we allow ourselves to detach from the turmoil. Spirituality plays a key role in creating this emotional distance, helping us gain clarity and insight.

When we gain this perspective, we often discover that even what seemed like a lose-lose situation is not as bleak as it first appeared. There are alternatives we haven’t explored yet, and those alternatives can guide us toward growth.

As the Bhagavad-gītā progresses, Kṛṣṇa will reveal to Arjuna how his situation, far from being lose-lose, is actually win-win. We will explore this in more detail in verses 2.32-37. For now, however, Arjuna’s confusion is a direct result of relying solely on his own intellect and emotions to solve the problem. His inner turmoil is vividly expressed in this verse, where he voices his agonizing dilemma.

Thank you.