Gita 01.26 When We Can’t Fight The Circumstances That Make Us Fight Against Our Loved Ones
tatrāpaśyat sthitān pārthaḥ
pitṝn atha pitāmahān
ācāryān mātulān bhrātṝn
putrān pautrān sakhīṁs tathā
śvaśurān suhṛdaś caiva
senayor ubhayor api
Word-for-word:
tatra — there; apaśyat — he could see; sthitān — standing; pārthaḥ — Arjuna; pitṝn — fathers; atha — also; pitāmahān — grandfathers; ācāryān — teachers; mātulān — maternal uncles; bhrātṝn — brothers; putrān — sons; pautrān — grandsons; sakhīn — friends; tathā — too; śvaśurān — fathers-in-law; suhṛdaḥ — well-wishers; ca — also; eva — certainly; senayoḥ — of the armies; ubhayoḥ — of both parties; api — including.
Translation:
There Arjuna could see, within the midst of the armies of both parties, his fathers, grandfathers, teachers, maternal uncles, brothers, sons, grandsons, friends, and also his fathers-in-law and well-wishers.
Explanation:
Here, when Arjuna is taken between the two armies by Kṛṣṇa, as per Arjuna’s desire, he begins to behold the opposite side. Kṛṣṇa has done his bidding and says to him, “Look, O Arjuna, behold!” At this point, things become very complicated for Arjuna. As he surveys both armies, he sees soldiers on both sides. He understandably expected to find loved ones on his own side, but what strikes him deeply is that many of those arrayed on the opposite side are people from his father’s and grandfather’s generation (pitṝn atha pitāmahān), the rank of his teachers (ācāryān), his maternal uncles, brothers, sons, grandsons, and friends—practically all genres of relationships one can imagine. They are all present there for Arjuna. Faced with this overwhelming sight, Arjuna is left with a perplexing question: What is he doing here? And why is he doing it?
We are innately social creatures, and we live as such. This means we have loved ones, and we cherish reciprocating love with them. In fact, the joys we experience are often shared with those we hold dear. However, when we are forced to fight against our own loved ones, knowing that countless lives will be lost, it raises the question: why are we doing this? The twists and turns that life brings can sometimes be devastatingly distressing.
Cruel indeed is the duty of warriors—for they must fight against their loved ones. Supremely cruel, however, was Arjuna’s duty at this moment, as he was facing not just one or two loved ones, but hundreds, even thousands of people—many of whom were destined to perish. Among them were not only his own well-wishers but also the well-wishers of his well-wishers. If someone is our ill-wisher, we may feel justified in fighting against them. But when those we face are our well-wishers, placed in opposition by circumstance, the battle becomes far more painful. In such moments, we feel as if we are fighting against circumstances rather than enemies.
Let’s take a closer look at this situation. Sometimes, those who would normally be friends, well-wishers, or even bosom companions, end up—due to circumstances—becoming the worst of enemies. Even if they don’t become enemies by choice, they may find themselves placed in opposing camps, forced to fight against each other. In such cases, they are compelled to go against the natural tenor of their relationship and fight, which is far from easy. The only thing we can do in such situations is remind ourselves, educate ourselves, and accept that these circumstances are unavoidable.
Sometimes we may do everything in our power to resist circumstances in an effort to avoid conflict with our loved ones. The Pāṇḍavas had done this to a great extent. They had petitioned for peace in the most accommodating terms, yet they were rebuffed in the rudest manner. Left with no other alternative, they were compelled to fight. As long as the circumstances could be avoided, they did everything possible to do so. However, the war had now become inevitable. Yet, when Arjuna faced the brutal reality of the war, he once again found the circumstances unbearable and unacceptable.
As we will see in the subsequent verses, Arjuna considers not fighting the war at all. Fighting to avoid the inevitable is ultimately a waste of time and energy. Sometimes, one finds oneself caught in a difficult situation, akin to being trapped between the sea and the devil. Both options present significant dangers, making it challenging to choose the right course. In such cases, the best approach is to focus on progressing and fulfilling one’s dharmic duties. For Arjuna, his dharmic duty was to fight to uphold dharma. However, he faced a situation where he felt that fighting was impossible for him and found himself in an intractable dilemma.
We will see that Arjuna will become overwhelmed, but the broader lesson for us is that we should strive to fight against circumstances that force us into conflicts with those we would normally avoid. However, there are times when such situations are unavoidable and leave us with no alternative.
Unpleasant courses of action can be—and should be—avoided as much as possible, but not beyond that. When the call of duty or dharma requires us to take such actions, allowing personal affection to interfere will lead to adharma. This was the dilemma faced by Arjuna, and the wisdom of the Bhagavad-gītā will gradually resolve it for him.
Thank you.
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